I woke up with my cheeks all sore and red, again! "This is it!" I thought to myself. "I can't date Mr. Cactus anymore." One day I'm sure I'd wake up looking like Undertaker after a Hell In A Cell Match!!
The Revenge!!
I took his toothbrush and threw it down the toilet. The guy isn't much concerned about personal hygiene anyway. I was fuming with red hot fury. My cheeks were burning and I didn't like it. The subtle way of gifting him a razor, calling him wolverine etc. had not worked. "The least he could do is listen to me." Now that the indirect ways of #shaveorcrave movement had failed, I wanted to take the direct approach!
Next, I took his favourite T-shirt and hung it on the decorative cactus plant with sharp, spiny thorns. It got torn a bit. I think he'll like it now. He likes to tear my skin so, he must be into torn and jagged stuff! There is no other explanation for that!
Next up was his grooming accessories. He never needed them anyway so, why not use the aftershave as a toilet cleaner? I found out that the aftershave not only removes 87% of bacteria, it makes my toilet seat (which I wanted down) shinier and cleaner!
The shaving cream can really help lubricate the drainage. I poured the whole tube down. I think now there'll be no choking. He used to complain a lot about that. I am sure he'll be happy now. What do you guys think?
Ok, the truth is I haven't done any of those things right now. These are just my suggestions for the #ShaveOrCrave movement. I was in physical pain and I couldn't bear it. I treat my skin well and respect it; it just LITERALLY gets under my skin when he rubs his stubble on my face! I guess I'll make him read this blog first and even then he doesn't improve, then well, you know the plan!! ;-)
Adios for now!!
